A Father Writes ... about moving through the trimesters

So we have really been moving forward since I last wrote; we've had hospital dramas, possible breach scenarios and two of their future friends have been born. But the constant has been the delight I've still felt every time I feel my precious child moving around.

Our interaction has really changed; they've gone from random little kicks and punches when we happen to have our hands on Stella's expanding bump, to responding with bigger blows when I tap quickly on her skin to our current favourite game: I hold my hand on Stel's bump until a curious limb comes pushing up, and then I feel out the whole limb and we move about Mummy's skin with pushes and prods: great fun!

It's also been great Ryan and Zavier and trying to work out what part of each parent they seem to have; and it's making us think about how our child will look. I'm seeing them with slightly yellowish skin, mummy's rich brown hair and eyes, and daddy's strong nose, with probably a fair bit of chub from both of us! Whatever, we know that they'll be the most beautiful baby in the world to us.

34 weeks...

We're nearly at 34 weeks and seriously counting the days now. Baby one is so active still, though more slow writhing and wriggling due to less space but a real blessing to us and others. Auntie Elle and Auntie TJ go gooey when they feel the baby give a little wriggle and the look on their faces says it all!

So at 34 weeks, the nervous system is still maturing but the lungs are nearly fully developed so if they were born now, there would be very little chance of any problems occuring. The baby now weighs more than 4lbs 6oz and is 45cm from top to toe. They're filling out and getting rounder – theyll need their fat layers later to regulate their body temperature. Apparently, some evidence shows that newborns pay closer attention to high-pitched tones. So all feel free to do squeaky baby voices!

Weird facts of the week: the baby now rests on my uterus and is no longer floating. Fingernails now reach over the finger tips and the baby can scratch itself!

Belated congratulations...

to our friends the Dempsey's and the Naude's on the birth of their two beautiful bouncing boys!

Left is a photo of Ryan Christian Dempsey who was born 6th October 2009 weighing in at 3.9kg (or 8.5lbs in English!) after a long, 48 hour labour!

We now have a scrummy photo of Zavier Naude (see left again!)who was born on 18th November - Jeanre's due date was the 23rd and she had a 12 hour labour. Some people just get it all, don't they!

We pray many blessings over these wonderful new families and look forward to seeing the boys grow big and strong...

The ball...

One of the many items passed down to me was a birthing (or exercise!) ball. At first, it felt just weird to be bouncing around the living room (not really) and before I used it, I couldn't understand how it could possibly be that comfy. But seriously, try it - it's marvellous fun.

I've had quite painful backache so the ball has really helped as it helps you to sit correctly, without even thinking about it. Grandma M commented on my posture while I was sitting on the ball nattering away, and I think that's why it's just a brilliant invention. When you slouch back on a comfy sofa, your posture isn't great from the start and encourages cheeky babies round the wrong way to stay that way! However comfortable it is. But I've been sitting on the ball, doing my ironing, watching Flash Forward, and generally feeling quite content all the while rotating my hips which apparently encourages the baby to stay head down. I will miss it once little 'un is out!

Bets...

Well, we appear to have started a betting war!

So many of our friends and family have given us what they feel the baby will weigh. It's fun and silly but it will be interesting to see who gets it right! I don't think there's a prize...maybe, just maybe a daisy from our garden or an extra cuddle with little 'un.

What a brilliant child!

They've definately turned. And my bump has definately dropped and I'm definately feeling it. I stopped by a midwife at work who told me what was what in my tummy.

Since then, our little wonder has developed a habit of sticking their bottom out! Which is most definately inherited from Daddy. It's hilarious, my tummy turns into a (very) weird cone shape and if you give it a little tap, you can see them squirm. Yesterday, I was lying in bed and it literally looked like the Jaw fin was swimming across my tummy and back again - twice. I don't know what body part that was (possibly an elbow? That sort of shape anyway) but it was incredible. I was actually a bit worried they might poke through my skin because it was so close to the surface...I used to think it was a bit gross when books and sites said women with thin abdominal walls could grab whatever sticks out (it still is a bit mangy) and I definately don't have abdominal walls that thin but it's certainly very obvious when a limb comes to the surface!

We're having so much fun playing with our little one and chatting away to them and can't wait 'til we can start to nurture this amazing little blessing once they're born.

33 weeks...

With just seven weeks to go (oh wow!) Baby Stevens' is taking on a growth spurt over the next few weeks and now weighs about 4.5lbs and measures approximately 43.7cm from head to toe. So during this time, the baby should already be getting ready for birth by turning upside-down – the head should be pointing down, ready for birth.

Today, three people commented on the fact my bump looked a lot lower...so either the little wonder has turned (wahey!) or it has turned and the head is engaging (double wahey!). According to websites and books, my midwife will be paying careful attention to baby's position in the coming weeks – some babies do decide to turn back round again which we're praying won't happen although if it does, that is fine! God's got it sorted. The skull is still quite pliable and not completely fused, so the baby can ease out of the relatively narrow birth canal and the bones in the rest of the body are hardening. Our baby's skin is also gradually becoming less red and wrinkled as fat builds up underneath. So looking more and more like a plump newborn!

I'm still feeling great, although am starting to get exhausted really fast. I struggle to stand for long because it just tires me out as the weight of the bump is increasing by the day! It sounds so lame but sadly, it's true. My sense of smell has also suddenly increased rather dramatically and I smell things long before anyone else can or just can't smell full stop. It's quite weird being able to do that.

Hey ho. Loving every minute!

32 weeks - just 8 weeks to go!...

So I'm probably gaining around 1 lb a week now, and roughly half of that goes straight to our baby. In fact, the baby gains a third to half of their birth weight during the next seven weeks, fattening up for life outside the womb. Thanks to these fatty deposits, skin is getting plumper and healthier looking - here's thinking (judging by the ever increasing size of 'the bump') we'll be expecting a nice, beefy baby! Although, saying that I was a skinny little thing at only 6lbs 2oz...but John was a cute, cuddly 8lbs 11oz but then he was overdue by two weeks - so who knows! I did fatten up a lot as I developed month by month, with legs like tree trunks. Auntie Elle was 8lbs 13oz when she was born! There's currently a sweepstake going on for our baby's size, we're involved too: John reckons 8lbs 4oz, I reckon 7lbs 11oz. Eight weeks 'til we find out!

At eight months, while our little one is fully formed and being the most active they've ever been (which is just a fabulous experience!), they're currently breech again so we're trying to turn them using the big birthing ball and rocking on all fours as suggested by the midwife - what a sight! Hopefully at my next midwife appointment on 1st December at 34 weeks, we'll have good news that they're in the correct position. I was chatting with Sarah at the weekend, and we realised that God has already worked out the way I'll give birth and that will be the best thing for me, us and the baby. So while we'll try not to panic if the baby is still breech, we'll know God has the best plans for us!

Puffiness around my feet and fingers is now a constant thing: we went out for Daddy John's birthday today (which was really delicious - try Kazan, seriously) and I thought I might try a pair of shoes I haven't worn for 8 months! Yes, they did have a slight heel...anyway, they barely fit, it was so upsetting. I can only really use one or two pairs, as the others feel like they a size too small!

Roll on eight weeks...

Shut eye...

I am really tired! It suddenly comes on, so there's no warning - it just hits you! It's only the last week or so I've really experienced it. It likely has something to do with the anemia too, but my iron levels weren't too bad. I'm finding it really exhausting walking up a number of stairs now. Stairs in houses I can just about do! But at work, when there's three flights my legs feel like they're about to drop off, they actually hurt. It's horrible! I feel like I should probably be about 30 stone but thankfully, I know it's just the pregnancy. I sit in front of the computer typing all day which probably doesn't help with the tiredness either, but hey ho. Everyone's body reacts differently to pregnancy - my body has loved it for the most part, thankfully. It's just the last number of weeks to get through...we are loving every minute!

31 weeks pregnant...

We are SO excited. It's getting really hard to wait now, especially now the baby's room is ready. We keep looking at the cot, thinking how tiny little one will seem in it! The socks for little 'un are ridiculously small. We keep going into the bedroom and picking up clothes and cooing. Likely a bit sickening for any viewers, but no-one else lives with us so while this is true, we will continue being sickening.

I've found my sleep pattern has totally changed and I wake up regularly about 4:00am. Last night, it was between 2am-4am. Not so lovely but goodness, the world is quiet between those times!

So nine weeks to go and baby's arms, legs and body continue to fill out – and they are finally proportional in size to the head therefore looking more like a newborn. Some people say the baby stops moving as much but this isn't true for our little squirming munchkin. I actually thought there was something wrong with them last night, they honestly moved solidly for about half an hour! It was so bizarre but very funny. The funny thing is, there's still a fair bit of growing to do, apparently we should expect them to gain at least 900g before birth. Good gracious. The organs are continuing to mature and they are passing water from the bladder, which is good practice for the urinating they'll do after they're born. Also the bone marrow has taken over from the liver in producing red blood cells. The incredible thing for this week? Brain scans have shown that babies have periods of dream sleep around month eight!

I've been feeling a bit of pressure on my hips from the baby which I've been told is the head beginning to engage. I've also been having a bit of rib-tickling from little one which isn't the most comfortable but still an amazing feeling!

Weight gain from food hasn't been a massive thing for me during this pregnancy...well, the scales don't show it but I may have done. Websites and books say I have probably gained between 1.3kg and 1.8kg this month. Gaining 450g a week is quite normal during the last trimester as the baby has a final growth spurt before birth. The lovely thing is I've been complimented about blooming! It makes me feel very lovely while I'm feeling like a big biffa right now.

Nursery complete!...

Apart from a blind which we will be buying on Monday. We had the carpet fitted today and spent the day building changing tables and cot-beds. Marvellous fun and the room looks so cute and cosy! Photos to follow...

Any weird food...

I was talking to someone today who was super keen on finding out what I craved during my pregnancy. I can honestly say, I haven't had anything that I've 'had' to have right there and then like gherkins...actually, I lie - there was one or two occasions where I've desperately wanted Nesquik strawberry milkshake and I didn't have any in the house, so John and I went out to get some. I have, however, really fancied the smell of damp towels!! Yes, I know it's weird but you have no idea how good they smell to me.

I used to love onions before I was pregnant, I had them with everything, especially spring onions. But from day one til about week 19, I absolutely hated them and anything to do with them! I gradually tried them, bit by bit (but poor John had to go without them for a good while unless he did the cooking) and now I love them again. The same with tea. I didn't go off it straight away but I did eventually. I started drinking it again because I was worried I'd go off it for life! So now that's back on the table.

Pregnancy is a funny thing!

Even more hiccups...

This little one has about three bouts of hiccups a day!

I was getting a bit worried it was what I was eating, nothing unusual but I couldn't work out what it was and why it was lasting for so long! Apparently 20 minutes is normal. But when you have it three times daily (especially at 4:00am) that is an hours' worth of hiccups. Not bad baby!

Apparently, the reason babies get hiccups is purely because they are practising to breathe, and if your baby does get hiccups it just means they're fine and dandy health wise. So I can't complain really. They're pretty powerful though - John can feel them through our mattress when we're both lying down, depending on where the baby is lying.

It's very cute really!

It's all about your name...or is it?

There were two reasons we chose the name we have for our big blessing of a baby:

1. The meaning of the name
2. It's a fabulous sounding name! And we like the shortened version for when we can't be bothered to use the full name.

The meaning of the name we have chosen is 'fire of the Lord'. Frankly, what a brilliant statement to speak over our child's life! We hope and pray that that will be very evident in our baby's life, now and in the future for them.

Names are a funny thing...some people feel a name shapes a baby's future entirely, some just choose names because they like them. My name and my sisters' names were chosen because my parents liked the sound of them. I asked them how they chose the names and mum said she didn't give meanings a second thought...I think she knew they didn't mean anything too terrible though! I think Tanya means 'fairy princess' - which funnily enough is the meaning of the name our friends, Kerry & Albert have chosen for their baby if they have a girl.

Parenting is a funny thing. There's so many different ideas and ways to do it and if you're not careful, it's so easy to feel as if the decisions you make or are choosing to make are the wrong ones because this person or that person does it a different way. We're really praying that we won't be affected in that sense and that we will know we are making the best decisions for our little one. I have to say, it really helps not having a husband who is really fretful - John is so relaxed it's astonishing! Sometimes I'll suddenly freak out about something, and he'll just fob me off, completely relying on God for everything. That really is helpful.

Bless God for great Daddy's-in-training!

Favourite things...

Thirty weeks in, I've just loved my pregnancy and everything about it. It was a rubbish start with the sickness (and working in Lewisham with the smell of a fishmongers next door didn't help), but it was still so exciting knowing there was a precious little life growing inside my tummy the whole time. It's been so much fun experiencing all these different events and changes over the last 7 months, I wouldn't exchange it for anything. It's also been brilliant watching just how much more excited family get as D-Day gets closer. My mum isn't one for fuss but it's hilarious watching her getting more and more into the role of a grandma. John's mum is already a seasoned grandma but it's marvellous how excited she is still getting at the arrival of her second grandchild!

The best feeling in the world (currently) is the feeling of our little one dancing away! It is by far the best sensation we've ever experienced and we both just love giving them time and attention, praising them everytime they respond to our tapping and poking. Now the baby is bigger, the kicks and movements are astonishing and yesterday, while I was at work I was watching my tummy (because I was on lunch and Junior was moving) it literally looked like somebody had poked a bowlful of jelly - I promise you, I'm not entirely sure what they were doing but it was the weirdest feeling and the weirdest sight and definitely made me giggle. The baby tends to save big shapes and movements for Daddy in the evening, which makes it extra special.

Our little wonder is incredibly active which makes us feel so blessed...albeit slightly worried as they never seem to get any shut-eye!? But we've been told by so many people that an active baby makes for a happy baby, and we know and pray that will continue to be true.

Fat feet...

I lasted 30 weeks without getting any swelling of any body part! Alas, the past week my fingers have been swelling and my ankles/sides of my feet have swollen slightly too. It's very odd. You know how, when you're hot, your fingers swell and feel tight if you bend them? That's exactly what it's like!

Senses...

I read in one of my baby books that was passed down to me from Sarah, that some women just 'know' they're expecting before they even have a positive pregnancy test. While we were chatting last night, John and I remembered that literally the day before we knew for certain I was expecting, both John, my mum and I suggested that I was possibly pregnant. We didn't know why, we all just 'felt' different! Then the next day, we had a positive.

Spooky!

30 weeks...

So with just ten weeks to go, here's what Baby Stevens is up to:

Their lungs and digestive tract are almost fully developed and growth in terms of length will soon slow down (they measured slightly stumpy about 24 weeks, which, if they're taking after their mother's side with height isn't suprising!) but generally babies measure at about 39.3cm from crown to toe now. They will continue to gain weight until they're born. This week our baby continues to open and shut their eyes and the realy cool thing is that they can probably see what's going on inside my uterus, distinguish light from dark and even track a light source such as a torch. We have played with that recently and it really does work, it's super fun watching my tummy make all sort of funky shapes! And for those who are either following baby's development, or who just have a plain weird obsession with poo, the baby's first poo, known as meconium, is being formed in the intestines – it's made up of various waste products including lanugo, mucus, amniotic fluid and old skin cells. Lurvely!

The past couple of weeks, I've really noticed the breathlessness and my legs get tired so quickly, they ache like mad when I've been walking up stairs. My bump is quite high up which is probably why the breathlessness is more prominent and definately explains the heartburn.